nerdthatlovesfood:

thempress:

flyawaymax:

porrim-some-sugar-on-me:

usbdongle:

significantmelancholy:

nevver:

Where you feel it

bringing this back because important 

#the cold crotch of contempt

"I hate that guy so much he makes my dick cold"

but what is spiderman so ashamed of

For getting his Uncle murdered I’m guessing. 

Happiness turns you into a Michael Bay film

nerdthatlovesfood:

thempress:

flyawaymax:

porrim-some-sugar-on-me:

usbdongle:

significantmelancholy:

nevver:

Where you feel it

bringing this back because important 

"I hate that guy so much he makes my dick cold"

but what is spiderman so ashamed of

For getting his Uncle murdered I’m guessing. 

Happiness turns you into a Michael Bay film

werewolfau:

At a deposition, Ferguson’s former police chief revealed that his staff did not keep records of incidents in which officers used force against citizens, so long as no one died; in other words, there was no way of telling how often incidents like Davis’ happened.

remember shit like this when they talk about how mike brown’s shooter had no disciplinary record

Lupita Nyong’o hits the beach in Wailea, Hawaii on June 4, 2014 

(Source: lupita-nyongo)

obsidian-order:

beckaford:

micahelizabeth:


“Eat” the damn Play-doh cookies.
Slurp the invisible soup.
Pretend that they’re not causing grievous bodily harm as they “brush” your hair.
Always be serious when asked what you’d like for dinner, and never say something silly like rabbit soup. Because they will go get their stuffed one off the bed, put it in your best pot, and fill said pot with water. Then place it on your desk.
Greet their make believe friends and ask how their day was.
Always kiss the teddy bear goodnight. It has feelings too.
Always pretend to die when they shoot you.
If you are having a fake war with them and you shoot them and they say they can’t die because they are invincible, you don’t shoot them again, because they are invincible.
Yes, their drawing does look like a butterfly, not a bunch of jumbled up lines.
Them pounding on the piano is the best thing you have ever heard.

THISTHISTHISTHIS

no but seriously it’s very important to a child’s development to not be shut down by parents and other caregivers

once when i was little i gave my mum a bowl full of buttons and she got really into pretending it was real food. when she asked me ‘is it soup?’, i turned around, and with the most disapproving glare just went ‘no. it’s buttons’.

obsidian-order:

beckaford:

micahelizabeth:

  • Eat” the damn Play-doh cookies.
  • Slurp the invisible soup.
  • Pretend that they’re not causing grievous bodily harm as they “brush” your hair.
  • Always be serious when asked what you’d like for dinner, and never say something silly like rabbit soup. Because they will go get their stuffed one off the bed, put it in your best pot, and fill said pot with water. Then place it on your desk.
  • Greet their make believe friends and ask how their day was.
  • Always kiss the teddy bear goodnight. It has feelings too.
  • Always pretend to die when they shoot you.
  • If you are having a fake war with them and you shoot them and they say they can’t die because they are invincible, you don’t shoot them again, because they are invincible.
  • Yes, their drawing does look like a butterfly, not a bunch of jumbled up lines.
  • Them pounding on the piano is the best thing you have ever heard.

THISTHISTHISTHIS

no but seriously it’s very important to a child’s development to not be shut down by parents and other caregivers

once when i was little i gave my mum a bowl full of buttons and she got really into pretending it was real food. when she asked me ‘is it soup?’, i turned around, and with the most disapproving glare just went ‘no. it’s buttons’.

grolia:

A guy’s first world problem.

donkos:

reading a foreign language: yeah
writing in a foreign language: ok
listening to a foreign language: wait
speaking in a foreign language: fuck

(Source: donkos)

oldjackburton:

i feel like i just went through a second gay awakening 

gollums-new-best-friend:

chileanboyvstheworld:

this guy is a guardian of the galaxy 

I feel safer already

(Source: mcaubergine)

faketima:

drake is gonna write a song called “the chair” and its gonna drop at number one where he’s just rapping about his experience in that video seeing gods he doesn’t even believe in

redtemplo:

babefield:

it here

*prepares my grave*

(Source: kingjaffejoffer)

steve rogers + cards against humanity (insp.)

(Source: buckkybbarnes)

superwhoavengetrekpotterlock:

tropius:

holmes-less:

lucifersaxon:

calmility:

the fastest word i can type is motherlode

almost 70,000 people get this joke like is a fandom thing or can you all must type motherlode really fast what is going on

NO ONE SAY ANYTHING

i dont get it

NOBODY TELL

(Source: azarry)